The Other Tapestry

Hic Londinienses exspectant

The Bayeux Tapestry.
No queue.
(Slightly fewer willies.)

The real one is on loan to the British Museum and half of England is stood outside it. Meanwhile, twenty-odd minutes west of Paddington, a full-size Victorian copy is hanging in Reading Museum, free to walk in and see, with basically nobody in front of it.

Same Normans. Same arrow-in-the-eye. Same comet. And yes, Reading is on the Tube map now, so it barely counts as leaving London.

Get me to Reading Book a tour I need convincing
An embroidered strip in the style of the Bayeux Tapestry. Scene one: a huge queue outside the British Museum. Scene two: one person escapes to Tottenham Court Road. Scene three: they ride the Elizabeth line, drawn as a Norman longship. Scene four: they photograph the tapestry in Reading Museum while Halley's comet passes overhead. Scene five: Pete hands them a toastie at Shed. Scene six: everyone is happy. HERE LONDONERS QUEUE FOR TWO HOURS HERE ONE ESCAPES HERE THEY TAKE THE ELIZABETH LINE HERE THEY SEE THE TAPESTRY HERE PETE MAKES A TOASTIE AND HERE EVERYONE IS HAPPY BRITISH MUSEUM …all the way to Holborn YOU TOTTENHAM CT RD (sod this) (no changes) YOU READING LOOK, A COMET YOU (photos allowed) (nobody behind you) SHED PETE LYDIA YOU (very good toastie) YOU (saw it) (fed)
The Reading Tapestry, scenes I–VI. Drag or scroll along, like the real thing.

Hic comparationem faciunt

London v Reading

An entirely fair and balanced comparison, conducted by people who live near Reading.

British Museum, London Reading Museum
Tickets Gone. All of them. Try refreshing a bit harder. Don't need one. Free, just walk in. (A fiver in the donation box is good manners.)
Queue Two hours, often more. Bring a flask. Bring a chair. Bring a will. None. You may have to hold a door for someone.
Photos Not allowed. Commit it to memory, peasant. Go for it. Selfie with Harold. Selfie with the comet. We won't tell.
Crowds You'll see the tapestry in the gaps between other people's heads. Basically empty. You, a member of staff, and maybe a school trip that will leave before you do.
Explaining it Five info boards. For seventy metres of medieval drama. A board for every scene, so you actually know who's stabbing whom.
Guided tour You're on your own, pal. Twelve quid for an hour with someone from the museum who knows the whole story. It usually runs over because they can't stop talking. Book ahead, as these ones do sell out.
Genitalia All present and correct, as William intended. The naughty bits have been quietly tidied away. One naked chap in the border got a pair of underpants. You won't miss them.
Lunch A £14 sandwich eaten standing up. A homemade toastie at Shed, an independent in an old forge. Pete says hello.
Getting there Tottenham Court Road. Also Tottenham Court Road. Just stay on the Elizabeth line a bit longer.
Final score 1 (it is the original, fair enough) 7

Hic feminae de Leek acu pingunt

Wait. It's a copy?

Yes, and a proper one. In 1885 Elizabeth Wardle, an embroiderer married to a Staffordshire silk-dyer, got thirty-five women from the Leek Embroidery Society together and decided England should have "a copy of its own". So they made one. Full size. By hand. In about a year.

They worked from hand-coloured photographs held at the South Kensington Museum (now the V&A) and stitched every horse, ship, feast and falling Englishman along the whole seventy metres. They also added an extra blue border along the bottom and embroidered their names in it, under the bit each of them sewed. That's more credit than the original stitchers ever got.

Pedant's corner: neither of them is actually a tapestry. They're both embroideries, wool on linen. Nobody's going to rename them now.

The copy toured Britain and then went on tour around the world, while the original stayed at home in France. In 1895 Arthur Hill, a former mayor of Reading, bought it for the town. It was one of the first things on show when the museum's art gallery opened in 1897, and it has had its own gallery there since 1993. It's about as close as you'll get to the real thing without a ferry to Normandy or two hours on a pavement in Bloomsbury.

Hic iter faciunt

Getting there

  1. 1

    Get on a train

    Fast trains from Paddington take about twenty-five minutes. Or get on the Elizabeth line, which goes all the way to Reading. It's on the Tube map, you can tap in with contactless, and it stops at Tottenham Court Road, round the corner from the British Museum queue. Wave to them as you pass.

  2. 2

    Walk five minutes

    Out of Reading station, head for the big Victorian red-brick Town Hall on Blagrave Street. That's the museum. You can't really miss it; it's the one that looks like it has opinions.

  3. 3

    Walk straight in

    It's free, with no ticket, no timed slot and no queue. If you want the guided tour (£12), book it online before you go, because those do sell out.

When it's open

Tuesday to Friday, 10am–4pm
Saturday, 10am–5pm
Closed Sundays, Mondays and bank holidays.

Guided tours

Tuesday and Thursday at 2.30pm
Saturday at 2pm
£12 per person, suitable for all ages. About an hour, often more, so allow 90 minutes.

Coming as a group? Call the Education team on 0118 937 3400.

Top tip

It's the Year of the Normans, so on weekdays the gallery sometimes closes between 10am and 2.15pm for school workshops. Come on a Saturday or a weekday afternoon.

Times can change, so have a quick look at Reading Museum's opening times and tour bookings before you set off. We're enthusiastic, not omniscient.

Hic Petrus panem tostum parat

Make a day of it

You've saved two hours of queuing. Spend them wisely. A Saturday works best.

10:30

Train to Reading. Get a window seat. Smugness optional but encouraged.

11:15

Reading Abbey Ruins. Right next to the museum. Henry I is buried here, and he was William the Conqueror's son, so you're basically starting with the sequel.

12:00

Forbury Gardens. Pay your respects to the enormous cast-iron lion. He arrived in 1886, the same year the Leek ladies finished their tapestry. Coincidence? Yes.

12:30

Toastie at Shed. Say hello to Pete, who runs the place with Lydia. Pete is nice. Pete makes a very good toastie. These are both facts. They've been making sandwiches for Reading since 2012 with a tiny team, local ingredients and nearly everything made in-house, in small batches. It's in an old forge on Merchants Place, just round the corner from the station, and it's independent, so your toastie money goes to people rather than shareholders. 8 Merchants Place, RG1 1DT.

Inside Shed café in Reading
Shed. Toasties within.

14:00

The tapestry. Take the Saturday tour (book it first). Take photos. Take your time. Nobody's behind you.

Whenever

Train home. You'll be back in London at about the time you'd have got to the front of the queue.

Hic quaestiones respondent

Questions people actually ask

Is it really almost identical?

Near enough that most people couldn't tell you what's different without being told. It's the same seventy metres, with all the Latin. There's that extra border of names along the bottom, the underpants, and a few small slips in the margins where the 1872 photographs were blurry or a display case got in the way. If you're a medieval textile specialist you'll have views. Everyone else just enjoys it.

Shouldn't I see the original while it's in the country?

If you can get a ticket and don't mind the wait, sure, go. It's a once-in-a-lifetime loan. But if you've been beaten by the booking page, or you'd like to actually read the thing rather than glimpse it, Reading's got you.

Can I go on a Sunday?

Sadly not. The museum is open Tuesday to Saturday. That's the one thing the British Museum does better, and we're not happy about it.

Can I bring the kids?

Yes. It's a comic strip with horses, ships, a comet and a man getting an arrow in the face. Children are, historically, very into it. Nobody will shush you.

Is this the museum's website?

No. This is a fan site made by people who think more people should know about it. For official information, go to readingmuseum.org.uk.